🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

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In the tapestry of life, there are names that carry profound significance. Names like Aurora🌌(Rora/Aura/Rory/Roro/Ro) Martilia and Donlion🦁(Donny/Donno/Lio/D-Lion/Don) Martilia, each with its unique charm and promise. It’s as though destiny itself is knocking at my door, for when a soul comes calling, it could well be one of these two names, perhaps even both at once.

Yet, before I can fully welcome Donlion, I find myself on a journey to understand and accept the temperament of the first man in my life. It’s a path that may take a decade, a period shrouded in uncertainty. In this pursuit, I realize that raising a child is a complex endeavor, one that requires careful consideration of their needs. From the fundamental pillars of safety and autonomy to the loftier heights of Maslow’s hierarchy, and the myriad ways to fulfill their desires, whether through words or shared moments.

The child I envision, a blend of my own genetics, may possess characteristics like openness, neuroticism, and agreeableness. To be a guiding light for Aurora, I know I must work on myself, becoming an example of growth and love. Yet, Donlion deserves a role model who resonates with his essence, someone who understands and accepts him deeply.

It’s a delicate dance, much like providing a nurturing environment for a butterfly to flutter freely and a lion to roam without restraint. The aspiration is clear – to create a safe haven for both. A place where the butterfly can find tenderness to spread her wings, and the lion can discover strength and tools to explore the world.

Amidst this intricate tapestry of life, I’ve come to recognize the importance of mourning. The more I prioritize this process, the more space I create for beautiful memories, and the more I learn to respect all generations within my bloodline, just as they are. It’s a journey of honoring the past, holding onto its beauty, and processing the hardships.Though a secure attachment with the first person and the first man in my life will never develop, by acknowledging the attachments as they are, I make room for new deep connections. This, in turn, increases the likelihood of forming secure attachments. As my longing for love and belonging persists, I’ve come to understand that it’s high time to prioritize the generation before me, to mourn, and to honor them.

Written with the help of chatGPT🤖