π₯ LORENA π₯
Deeply flawed
πͺ
It’s evening, and I’m lying in bed, pondering. Why am I already thinking about buying all sorts of things tomorrow? Why do I have this sudden urge to purchase all these things at once? Take a moment to take a deep breath. Squeeze the pillows for a moment to reduce stress and reflect on my needs. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I need a group of people to share my joy of life. I tend to seek substitutes for this in physical satisfaction, like eating or other pleasures. I’ve really cried because somewhere deep down, I now realize how much I’ve missed that. Sharing the joy of life with a group of people, the purest form of it. Laughing and dancing together, with an emphasis on ‘together.’ Ideally, it should involve more than just one person. One person feels safe but doesn’t capture the essence of the group feeling I’m looking for. Chosen family is what comes to mind immediately after. I can choose to meet my need for connection with the group in that way. It seems healthy to me to choose people who are similar or engage in similar activities to experience joy of life and join them. My hobbies, passions, and interests come to mind. Of course, it would be wonderful to share them with blood relatives, but unfortunately, bloodlines don’t guarantee compatibility. Through these thoughts, I’ve realized that I might be more ready than I thought to save up for a Zumba class and cancel my subscriptions tomorrow. I’m becoming more patient by disciplining myself, but whether I prefer to skip this process and throw money at it tomorrow, well, it’s still a tough decision. This requires taking a moment to truly envision the benefits of meeting this need in a healthy way. I can still spend money, for example, by increasing my budget if possible or raising the limit for impulsive purchases. Perhaps it’s important (wow, an important but not urgent choice, as I recently learned from the priority-setting video) to give my potential chosen family the opportunity first to come closer to share in the joy of life. Okay, and now I’ll continue sleeping!
Will I still remember this vision of the future amidst all the temptations tomorrow?
Written with the help of chatGPTπ€
