🖊 WRITE 🖊

Back in 2019, before this ongoing recovery phase—including rebuilding my relationship with food—even started, I barely had the energy for simple things, so I mostly stuck to cold food like bread.

If I wanted a warm meal, I’d order delivery or takeout. Slowly, I gained enough energy to heat up canned foods like soup. Eventually, I tried cooking more elaborate meals once in a while, but it felt exhausting.

I realized I needed something healthy, manageable, and childhood-friendly—a way to nurture the inner child I was learning to care for, and something I could sustain on a regular basis.

For me, that meant eating the exact same homemade meal almost daily.

From there, I built up to a few homemade meals a week, and here I am today—having set days for one specific meal a day, with a backup option if needed, repeating that week after week.

Since breaking out of isolation takes energy, I’m trying to stop forcing myself to make everything from scratch all the time.

I can feel the next step coming as my energy recovers: I’d love to occasionally add a special, gourmet ingredient to my meals.

Not to replace dining out, but to rediscover my enjoyment of food. Tenderloin sounds special; I don’t remember ever trying it, but I’m curious to experiment with something similar at home.

Eating out can be expensive with starters, sides, dessert, drinks, and tips, but at home, I can just buy a small 200-gram portion and freeze the rest.

Having my current steady daily meal routine gives me enough stability to explore one new ingredient at a time.

I haven’t found a local butcher, fishmonger, or cheesemonger within walking distance yet, but I have a feeling that once I do, this new chapter might begin.

Or maybe I’m just not ready to find them yet 🫣 :p