🖊 WRITE 🖊

My goal is to make the most of my life, to be capable of getting married, staying married, and becoming a mother. In truth, it’s partly about something deeper. It’s about learning to resolve the problems I would typically encounter only in intimate relationships, recognizing my attachment style, and building the skills for secure bonding. Not that a 100% secure attachment style is guaranteed in my lifetime, but as I work step by step toward marriage, I am striving to become a complete and content person.

Usually, a partner helps me see that reflection, but now, I can partly anticipate it. With each step, I increasingly see the core of my issue. I’m striving for a secure attachment style, so I’m indirectly working toward a healthy and happy marriage. And vice versa, I’m working toward a healthy and happy marriage, indirectly fostering a secure attachment style.

Without my new goals of becoming a wife and mother and the new standards that come with them, I’d think less about certain aspects of myself. I wouldn’t have to confront them, but that doesn’t mean they stop existing. That would leave me somewhat empty, somewhat incomplete.

I’m privileged to discover this now as a bachelorette. Sometimes, I miss parts of myself that only surface in a romantic relationship and when I’m taking care of another. Apparently, I can tap into these aspects of myself partially by working toward them step by step. For instance, without acknowledging how much my excessive flirting might hurt someone in a romantic relationship, it would take me longer to consider alternatives for dealing with this openness.

I apparently really enjoy wheels, like driving, roller skating, rollerblading, go-karting, biking. Fantastic! It doesn’t mean I won’t ever have the urge to flirt when I’m in a relationship (that’s not how I roll⛸️), but I’ll primarily seek adventures in a more wholesome, preventive way. It doesn’t guarantee anything, but I’m at least doing my best, and that’s also what I need from my future partner. To primarily approach their need for adventures in a healthy way because, yes, they’re human too.

We try, we learn, we bond, we dance, we grow, like my first beautiful white hyacinth flower, and who knows, maybe together.

Written with the help of chatGPT🤖