🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

🏳

reading time: 4 hours🥲

The Maestro Blueprint

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Married and now? Benefits for both of us while genuinely caring for each other, and also involving a power dynamic. To keep the flame alive in the long term in this way. But how?

Benefits: Living in the same region, in my case, Haaglanden.

Benefits: Both keeping our own house.

Power Dynamics: He can have my house key, but he decides what to do with his house key.

My benefit (Power Dynamics: He can have my house key, but he decides what to do with his house key):

Being taken.

Being positively surprised.

His benefit (Power Dynamics: He can have my house key, but he decides what to do with his house key):

Permission to chase, hunt, pursue me*.

Benefits: Discuss finances extensively and make agreements to protect, set boundaries, and potentially help each other progress.

Caring: Attending therapy together is discussable and actively participated in if therapy is needed.

Power Dynamics: *Fines for him if he crosses certain boundaries in my house.

Power Dynamics: He can have access to my private phone and know where I am via navigation; he decides what he does with his phone.

Power Dynamics: Fines for him if he crosses certain boundaries regarding my private phone/laptop, and fines if he crosses certain boundaries because I have no control over his phone use (communication means).

Caring: Cooking for him, cleaning, and he does chores in the house, takes out the trash, etc. We are both caring, so we gladly help each other.

Power Dynamics: He can see what I do in my house and decide in which rooms he wants to keep an eye, while he decides who can see into his house.

Power Dynamics: Fines for him if he crosses certain boundaries regarding the view into my home, and fines if he crosses certain boundaries because I have no view into his house.

My benefit (Power Dynamics: He can see what I do in my house and decide in which rooms he wants to keep an eye, while he decides who can see into his house):

Knowing that I am protected

His benefit (Power Dynamics: He can see what I do in my house and decide in which rooms he wants to keep an eye, while he decides who can see into his house):

Being able to protect me even when he is not with me.

Caring: Sleepovers at each other’s place. Making space for fun with each other in each other’s homes.

Caring: Establishing safe words.

Caring: Regularly testing for STDs together more to take timely measures than as a punishment. Health is important to me, and openness, and nowadays almost everything is manageable.

Power Dynamics: Fines if he crosses certain boundaries regarding safe words.

I understand that the division might seem unfair, regarding what kind of long-term relationship packaged in a marriage might work for me. Because who protects him and why can he ‘do everything’ and I nothing? I don’t know if I can inherently change what makes me feel excited. I think my chances might be better if I dare to be honest about this need and make it discussable. Working out the details thoroughly with the possibility to expand further based on circumstances.