🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

🥶

I am beginning to recognize a pattern in the type of people I am sexually attracted to. Next to a certain* eye contact, I find a certain* volume and intensity of voice and certain* pushback in a secure setting to be irresistibly hot, sexy. It’s hard not to smile (subtly blush) and to not be instantly turned on and deeply touched. This type of raw intimacy, unfortunately, brings up old pain, which is why I tend to distance myself. Fortunately, I am starting to see these preferences and feel a sense of freedom in choosing opening up more to who I find arousing and sexually attractive. This newfound freedom is both exciting and overwhelming, as it comes with the realization that I still have a lot to process, instead of using the same energy to explore these connections more deeply and intensely. I hope to remember that I have the freedom of choice to open up (because I tend to forget that I am free) and to discover who (and what about them) makes me feel physically warmer and aroused. I still feel ashamed that I am not limited to feeling sexual attraction for only one person for my entire life. But step by step, I am feeling these new intense feelings through and allowing them in my body; I am safe.

*I can’t quite describe what that specifically is yet, but not everyone with that same intensity or volume affects me so deeply. Or not everyone who pushes back touches me so deeply. That’s why I describe them as a certain je ne sais quoi. This type is usually ballsy, bold, kind*, and very intelligent. A special combo, especially if their healthy adult mode is well-developed as well.

*Ruwe bolster, blanke pit🇳🇱