🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

🌪

I notice that sometimes I’m even more impatient than I’d like to be, which is why I seek wisdom. Today I am a step closer to being patient, solution-oriented, and decisive. Despite of lying awake almost the entire night, I still took beautiful steps today, even though it doesn’t feel like it. This vulnerability sometimes makes me feel somewhat distraught. The new habit of reading wise, inspiring words helps me. Today I’ll add a note to my healthy adult envelope with something I’m proud of that I did today: “I ate homemade food, despite the noisier toxic parent mode.” Which causes feelings of shame, loneliness, and discouragement. I tend to hide my needs more when I feel like this, but fortunately, I am able to catch myself. I’ll try to take care of myself step by step, even though some (if not most) of those steps might be imperfectly clumsy. Especially now, I need to affirm that I am of value and important to myself. And I do receive help, care, and I am seen, but when my toxic parent mode is on, it’s like I am too absent to take it all in, which makes me feel even more ashamed.

I’m clearly too busy because I’m worrying about more than just my food. Cookies🍪 with walnuts! My first things to break my light fast tomorrow on Wednesday!! Looking forward to it.