🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

🌪

Last Xmas…

Since then, I’ve had a bit of an eating binge today. That’s why I haven’t tried my tropical crumble yet. I might save it for dessert after ballet class and dinner tonight. Sometimes, I get so excited about something that I forget to pace myself. Looking back on this morning and early afternoon, I realize I went a bit overboard. My toxic parent mode is more active: I should only be happy and numb or at least hide all other feelings. This unhealthy message makes me feel ashamed and unloved. That’s why I need to try to refocus and soothe myself in ways that welcome all my feelings, like taking a bath, enjoying childhood-friendly homemade meals, stories, prayers, and hugs. If I’m worrying about things other than food, I’m probably too busy. My goal is to create a safe and happy place wherever I am, regardless of my circumstances, and my intention is to connect. I need to remember this, but sometimes, in all the excitement, I lose sight of it. How can I celebrate significant milestones in a way that’s more digestible, and closer to my baseline(like portion control, or celebrate small with fresh fruit, cheese, whipped cream etc.)? Fortunately, I am able to catch myself now and learn how to embrace and celebrate life step by step in a way that’s healthier for me.