👧🏾 LEENTJE 👧🏾

Lessons learned in therapy: # 2

The happy inner-child mode stops the toxic parent mode.

Today I choose to stop the punishment of the toxic parent mode with a smile.

I am worth having a smile on my face.

This smile, my openness does not obligate me to please people. My openness is worth setting boundaries for. My openness plays a part in how people respond.

However it is not my fault how people respond to my openness. I don’t deserve to be punished for this temperament.

My temperament is nothing to be ashamed of. I belong. I am accepted. I am safe. I am enough.

The warm fuzzy feelings, the butterflies in my belly, the tingly-all-over feelings, feeling happy, helps me to see that I am of value the way I am. Seeing my own value makes it easier to recognize that others are of value the way they are.

The shaming, the put downs from the toxic parent mode makes it difficult for me to see my own value and hard to recognize it in others. That’s why the toxic parent mode needs to stop.

I am worthy of clothes without holes. My body is of value the way it is. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am of value the way I am.

The shaming needs to be replaced with the encouragement to smile, to feel happy and to see my value. I intend to smile, to feel happy, and to see my value more.

Other emotions are still welcome. When I get triggered I welcome them at my safe place (physically or mentally):

I am safe there to let it all out. I am free to express myself. I am safe to receive comfort, reassurance, and attention. And then after letting it all out: I am worth having a smile on my face again.