The idea of being enmeshed frightens me. Codependency, too. I’ve seen both sides of this story. Expecting someone to cater to my needs without tending to them myself, whether I don’t realize those needs within or doubt my own ability. On the other hand, I also know what it’s like to be held responsible for something that their strongly developed parental mode should be able to handle, or a need they may be unaware of.

I fear anything that might disrupt an intimate connection, but look forward to an intimate connection. Slowly, step by step, I approach a special friend. Wondering how we can enrich and deeply appreciate each other’s existence. This journey already makes me feel more satisfied. It doesn’t mean I stopped craving a special friend. Perhaps this new safe space and happy place, which is still being created, can accommodate more than just one person (yet one at a time preferably). That’s why I feel less hurried and less pressured to choose someone who chooses me.

Desiring the warmth of his gaze, falling asleep and waking up in his embrace, relishing life together through delightful cuisines, harmonious melodies, and more. Walking intimately side by side. Sharing inside jokes. Holding his head tenderly with both hands and kissing it. Feeling proud of him and telling him. Countless beautiful experiences await if that moment is gifted to me. I look forward to the opportunity to enrich and appreciate each other’s lives, step by step a little more, because we already take very good care of ourselves. Our being together as the icing on the cake. Beautiful🪻.