🔥 LORENA 🔥

Deeply flawed

🥶

When I see someone’s protective mechanism, influenced by their temperament and tendencies, it is hard to take it personally, no matter how personal it seems. If someone is physically distant, I find it easier to understand it as a protective measure, bringing back a calm feeling. The closer, emotionally or physically, and more intense the situation, the harder it is to distinguish between the person and the defense.

Through expressing my feelings openly in my grieving ritual, I’ve learned why people have certain defenses. I usually recognize them in myself 9/10 times. In my mind, I see their inner child and the hurt that led to these defenses. Reflecting further, those who hurt them were hurt too. I can’t think of any of them I couldn’t shake hands with if I saw them, but frequent contact or being best friends feels challenging.

It’s tough when defenses are intense or close, making it hard to separate the person from the defense. Taking a step back helps clear the confusion. Recognizing these defenses in myself helps me understand the emotions behind it more. Imagining that others might feel the same, the world seems less scary without seeking proof that their defense mechanisms exist. Instead, looking for proof of safety, a smile here, a smile there, a perspective I had in my childhood—more calm, less worry. Now I acknowledge that both realities exist. It’s not my complete responsibility, but the influence of my thoughts and beliefs may be more powerful than I realize.

I recognize the power of thoughts and beliefs a tiny bit more today. Trying to see innocence in people while setting boundaries might be the sweet spot. Both skills might help break down my cold emotional barrier, step by step.