??: why are some pictures lighter than others? My curtains are closed the entire day. When the sun is a little past the highest point it shines on my windows. Hence the lighter pictures in the afternoon. I’m starting to recognize this survival mechanism. The distrust and fear of danger/vulnerability. When I see my neighbors staring at me, I get the urge to dissociate. It doesn’t feel safe to be myself when someone is staring at me. I want to be myself at home. At least create a safe space to make an attempt, to be me. Mourning deliberately makes me feel less gloomy. I guess that why I’ve noticed this pattern.

How to make the most healthy decision? Maybe I can start by opening one curtain one hour a day. In the early morning when almost nobody is awake(at least I hope they aren’t).

How to set a boundary in this situation? Flip them off? Raise a big red stop sign? I’m just kidding. Or at least, I am, Lorena is very serious about this. I’m 31, I need to stop picking fights with these type of men.

Maybe I have a healthy solution: curtains open until I catch them staring. If I catch them staring, I’ll remove myself from this unpleasant situation. By closing the curtains, immediately. Without breaking them angrily. Hope my curtains will survive my rage. I guess that’s how I can set boundaries in the most healthy way.
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