??: slept over 12 hours last night. Didn’t even hear my alarm clock. While I consciously chose to deal with my void in several ways last week, my subconscious guided me last night the way I needed. My familiar heavy blanket – also known as grief – kept me asleep for 12 hours. I instead needed to dwell on my sad feelings while awake. Grieve deliberately. Like I did today. After I grieved I felt more calm and in touch with all my feelings. Guess I can call this the purge & nurture to heal cycle. P&N2H cycle: grieving: – cried with or without sound – for about an hour (or two), nurturing: drank two cups of very (yes.. very?) awesome lavender&chamomile tea, holded the cup of warm tea between my hands, looked at the lighted scented candles, smelled the scented candles, grabbed tissues out of my very pretty pink tissuebox and wrote about whatever I wanted, doodled (pink) hearts. Poured some more tea. Hugged my pillow. Wrapped a pink blanket around me. Squeezed in another pillow (everytime I felt angry). I needed a lot of support to grieve and I deserved all the comfort I gave myself. After stitching up this deep wound a little more. I chose to give myself even more love: I listened to lovely music from my childhood, music with lovely lyrics for my inner child and to music I love to dance on. My skin purged everything I binge ate last week as you may see. SO to all the empty carbs and refined sugars.
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