🖊 WRITE 🖊

I’ve found out that wearing earplugs outside makes a huge difference. I have a pair of custom-made earplugs, but I need new ones. I can’t remember which audiologist I got them from, but I do remember the shopping center. Anyway, I’ve been testing them out lately, and I’ve noticed that I feel less anxious when someone speaks at a normal volume. Without earplugs, it’s like someone standing a meter away, almost yelling right into my ear. All vibrations and tones strike right through my ear into the rest of my body, especially if they have a loud or deep voice. That’s why I get overwhelmed🌪 easily, or tend to (pl)ease🏳.

I tend to absorb and interpret behavior quickly. That’s sweet when, for example, I want to fully enjoy a peaceful spring/summer day with birds singing, or when I really want to hear a special friends’ voice up close, preferably whispering. Or when I surrender to the music to dance. Or listen to a song with headphones or speakers(I guess that’s why I love parties too). Besides that, I find it tiring to process so many interpretations every day. This 24/7 lie detector is unnecessary. I don’t need to notice all shadows all the time, as it darkens my view of the world. Shadows exist, even within me, and that’s okay. Being able to choose to open up more in relatively safe environments might restore my faith in myself and humanity, step by step🚶🏾‍♀️. Focusing on the light soothes me more. So, I might be searching for that one store for those earplugs again soon!